Dear Stress, Lets Take A Break...

I am not sure if anyone really has their sh*t together, but perhaps some have theirs neatly packaged into piles better than others. All I know is that currently - with so much going on in my world, I feel like a swan (rephrase - duck) gliding nicely along the river, but the legs are cranking over time just to keep me afloat.

On an average day, I am trying to survive. Not to be over dramatic, but working in Japan and not being able to speak the language does have its daily challenges and makes everything take twice (I lie...ten times as long) to get through. In a work environment, that is less than ideal. (Note to self - I really need to pick up on the Japanese lessons to make my life easier).

I generally thrive under pressure and love being "busy" - the productive kind of course. I am the "lets run a marathon, do a boxing class, deliver a campaign, finish all the admin from 1990" kind of person - all in one day! The irony is - the more I have to do, the better and quicker I do it. Give me a while and I drag my heels - perhaps its a Capricorn thing, a me thing or a human thing.

Sometimes people ask me how I kept it all together this past year! The truth is - I haven't really. I have just survived as best as I know humanly possible. I have survived a divorce from a best friend (anyone who has been through one knows it is a real toughie - specifically when you still have so much respect and love for the person - the good kind). You lose not only your closest friend and ally, but your world, your comfort zone and the life you were working toward. I moved countries, started working in a new global position and have had a couple of health issues and through it all, some limited support but some support nevertheless (you know who you all are and I love you plenty). This of course all happened in the space of 365 days - and if you know me - I am an all or nothing type of person - so I figured I would go all in and live in the fast lane, or at least try!

To be honest, I doubt I was even a duck - more like a half dead fish floating upstream - but through it all I’ve come out stronger, wiser and a much more compassionate person. I have an amazing human in my world now who makes me laugh till my stomach hurts - and that is always a fabulous thing and he really cares for me unconditionally (what a gift). He was a friend, which has turned into something wonderful and a massive support system through this all, he is a couple of years younger than me and that on its own has brought in some insecurities (society side) which I will save for another time (lucky you). But I have finally found some sense of normalcy to my "new" life and then well just as you think you have your shit together – SURPRISE! The universe has a wicked sense of humour!

And therein lies the question - will we ever? I think I have always strived for some kind of "perfect" (and social media does not help) but I am learning there is no such thing. The waiting and working towards the"when I will be" then I "will be "is fruitless. It is always about the journey and not the destination anyway. There is MY perfect and as long as we strive to be better humans than we were yesterday and learn through everything and continue to help others - we are being as perfect as we were meant to be.

If am honest, I still battle to keep my sh*t together on a daily basis (as I think we generally all do) I have learnt through this last year that when the sh*t really hits the proverbial fan (and it does, because life is about the ups and downs) that how I react to it will depend on the overall outcome of a situation, any situation, challenge or problem. What to do and how to manage my stress will ensure that I survive and get through to the next day, week or month.

So if you are still reading this and going through some sh*t - these are my little go to survival tricks that have helped me to not throw someone off a building.

1) Breathe

Yeah, not the most mind blowing stuff - but a relatively important aspect if you want to calm your inner mind. I have started meditating every morning and I swear it has helped center me. In moments of pressure - I take a deep breath. It just helps relax my mind and I am sure there is some physiological magical stuff that happens too that will help me feel a little less anxious and more ready to tackle anything.

2) Whats your Why?

Asking yourself this question helps you reframe your thought process and allows you to focus on what is really important. It helps you reverse engineer to the "why"you are doing certain things, why you are taking on more and why you are worrying about others or a situation. I ask myself these questions and if it inevitably leads to an answer about support of myself, others or perhaps something helping me work toward a financial goal, a personal goal or professional goal then I park it and process that and try always find reason in the madness. If the answer is no - well, I really just chuck it in the "F*ck it bucket". Figuring out your why - is the quickest and most powerful way to re-calibrate your thinking or situation.

3) Break It Down

"How do you eat an elephant - one bite at a time". I have worked on managing events and campaigns that require so much from you, together with juggling a mail box that at times has had over 200 mails in a day - all while training for a PB marathon, trying to help on society programs, study and still try have a social life (this while I am not a mom - so here is to you all, I salute you). Breaking down what needs to be done into manageable chunks is a sure fire way to surviving. Sometimes we can get so overwhelmed we forget the bigger picture. Writing it down helps too, I have lists for days - but it helps me prioritize what I need to do now and to be honest who does not love ticking things off one by one. Have I mastered this, hell no, but I am aware of what triggers my stress and how best to break down in to priorities and what deserves my focus, attention and yes - stress! It will always be work in progress.

4) Moving

Who really needs to fit in something additional when you already have so much to do - but getting time to move your body, get those endorphins going is a great way to reframe your thinking. Often post a run, my problems always seem that little less severe and that much more achievable and I really feel like things are not as "big"as I have built them up to be. Boxing is a great stress reliever too, ask my coach - there is nothing nicer, stronger and more empowering then using that pent up energy on a boxing bag (it helps to if you give it a face) So bottom line -some form of activity clears your head and I can only speak for myself personally, but I am a better human running on endorphins than a human that does not and I think everyone around me will agree to!

Survival through the stressful times really depends on how you deal with it. Figure out what works for you and try put it into practice, daily. We won't always get it right, but we can keep on striving, growing and learning through the process. Stress will always be there - its the world we live in - but its what we give to it that will help us deal with it a lot better.

So,next time the "sh*t" does hit the fan or life throws you lemons - bring out the tequila. And if all else fails, if you think you being dramatic when you are stressed, remember, they say an Octopus eats itself when it is stressed - now that's pretty dramatic!